Tag Archives: social media

home

Parenting in the Digital Age

11/02/2015 admin 87 Comments

By Tracey Dowdy

I’m sitting at my desk with the sun beaming through my window. I’ve got my laptop, a new notebook, and coffee in my favorite mug. I’m ready to write but first let me take a selfie. On second thoughts, let’s not do that.

Before camera phones and social media, no one felt the need to document every meal, every outfit, every day as if it were a scientific experiment. I’m confident even Jonas Salk didn’t maintain such a meticulous record of his research as does the average teen – and frankly, more than a few adults.

As parents, we know the importance of our kids’ friends and the value placed on their opinions. A teen’s peer group is central to his or her social development, and acceptance and validation by that peer group has a monumental impact on self-image. That’s been the norm as long as there have been teenagers. Generally, the older you get, the less you care what others think, but as a teenager, it’s a way of life.

Today’s teens are coming of age online, so it’s not surprising that the impact of social media is significant. Since many online interactions are with strangers, there’s a sense of anonymity, and with that anonymity comes a sense of invisibility. In other words, there’s a greater sense of freedom and for some that translates into a lack of accountability. Comments are often made online that would be off limits in a face to face conversation.

That lack of accountability becomes more dangerous when you consider the results of a 2010 study by York University that found teens with lower self-esteem spend more time online and post more self-promoting content. In addition, a January 2015 study by Common Sense Media found:

35% of teens fear being tagged in an unflattering picture;
27% stress about their physical appearance in posted photos; and
22% felt hurt if their photos didn’t generate enough attention.

“They’re playing in a different sandbox,” said Catherine Steiner-Adair, psychologist and author of The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age. “Kids are being kids with a tool that has far more powerful impact than they understand. Parents are feeling understandably overwhelmed by all the challenges technology brings with it. At the same time, this is the age in which we are parenting.”

So where does that leave us as parents? Where do we begin when our kids know more than we do about social media?

Don’t despair. You don’t need to be a social media expert to teach your kids how to safely and positively interact online.

Be a good role model. Your kids may not always pay attention to what you say but they do pay attention to what you do. Online or offline, treat others with respect. Model the behavior you want your child to live out. Simply putting your phone down when you’re having a conversation with your kids lets them know that what they have to say is important to you and deserving of your full attention.
Teach your children to think critically. Again, online or off, teach your children to stop and think about what they’ve just read or what they’ve seen. The internet is today’s Wild West where almost anything goes. Help them understand that just because it’s online doesn’t mean it’s true or acceptable.
Teach them to evaluate what they post. My father-in-law’s mantra of “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” works just as well online as it does in real-life.
Look for positive role models. Instead of rail thin models or millionaire athletes, teach them to look beyond physical appearance and money for their heroes. If that model overcame an eating disorder, celebrate her courage. If that athlete spends time working with underprivileged kids, celebrate that too. Teach your kids it’s the character behind the image that really matters.
Help them develop a healthy body image. Teach them to see the importance of a healthy body over one that mirrors whatever celebrity is in the headlines. Look for celebrities comfortable in their own skin, not afraid to buck societal norms and be themselves. And as a parent, be cautious of constantly mocking your own appearance and weight.
Teach your children empathy. Help them stop and think about the impact of their words. Ask them to consider how it feels when they’re mocked or criticized for what they’ve posted.
If there’s a problem, take action. If you feel your child is the victim of bullying or the one engaging in bullying behavior online, don’t wait, take action. The headlines are full of teens on both sides of the issue and every one of the stories is enough to break your heart.

In a tech-driven society, sometimes real world relationships suffer. Take the time to have these conversations. Encourage your kids to talk about their feelings. No easy task I realize, but it’s important your kids know the opportunity is there should they want to open up. The key is to be proactive. Whether your tween is new to social media or your teen is light-years ahead of you, opening these conversations can ensure that the Wild West is a little less lawless.

Tracey Dowdy is a freelance writer based just outside Toronto, ON. After years working for non-profits and charities, she now freelances and researches on subjects from family and education to pop culture and trends in technology. Follow Tracey on Twitter.

home

The Pros and Cons of Social Media in the Classroom

05/02/2015 admin 31 Comments

By Tracey Dowdy

If you’re looking to start a debate, I suggest bringing up the issue of social media and whether or not it belongs in the classroom. Parents, educators, students – everyone has an opinion, and it’s an interesting mix of individuals on both sides of the issue.

In our technology-saturated society, one could argue social media is already in our schools. Every day teachers battle to keep kids off their phones and focused on what’s happening in the classroom, and see social media as a distraction. On the other side of the debate, educators have embraced social media as a way to engage with students outside conventional teaching methods, recognizing that students raised on smartphones and laptops have developed very different learning styles from past generations.

Those against social media in the classroom say there’s no need to look further than the name: “social media.” In other words, its purpose is socialization and it should be kept that way. Gail Leight, teacher and contributor to pbs.org points out that many of her junior high students already live in a very “it’s all about me” world and the social media they engage in promotes a very narrow world view. For her, the goal of educators should be to open student’s minds, exposing and challenging them to see the world beyond their social media circles. In addition, students may struggle to shift between digital and real-life learning and may not be able to separate the two worlds effectively.

On the other side are educators embracing social media and making it an essential part of their curriculum and teaching methods. Recognizing this generation of students will be among the first to have lived out their entire lives online, the value of this approach is obvious. From moms posting baby photos through their own social media accounts, virtually every aspect of students’ lives will be out there. As a result, it’s become more and more critical for students to understand the importance of curating their online presence. As these students graduate and move into the workforce, there will be a higher level of accountability for their digital footprints. Many employers already see social media accounts as an unofficial piece of a potential employee’s resume.

Don Goble teaches Broadcast Technology, Film and Multimedia at Ladue Horton Watkins High School in St. Louis, Missouri. He points out that: “Students communicate, research, collaborate, create and publish online with or without the help of parents or educators. These same students then hop on social media to promote, discuss and share their thoughts with the world. The digital environment is offering us some of the greatest learning opportunities that young learners have ever had.” He further compares excluding social media from the classroom to giving a 13 year old the keys to a Ferrari and telling them to have fun. Not only is it ridiculous – it’s dangerous for the teen and for those with whom they come into contact.

Educators aren’t suggesting adding Facebook or Snapchat 101 to the core curriculum. Instead, they advocate taking what’s already part of the curriculum – basic writing skills for example – and applying it to blogging on closed, education-based sites like Edublogs or Kidblog. Others may use Edmodo, marketed as Facebook for schools, Fakebook, or FakeTweet to teach students what is and isn’t appropriate to put online.

In the words of teacher Vicki Davis, “Social media is here. It’s just another resource and doesn’t have to be a distraction from learning objectives. Social media is another tool that you can use to make your classroom more engaging, relevant and culturally diverse.”

home

Take Charge of Your Online Profile

20/01/2015 admin 1 Comment

In today’s world, if people want to find out more about you, they head to the Internet. It may be a prospective employer, a co-op board member, an old friend trying to look you up, or even a future date; anyone who is interested in learning more about you will jump online and open a browser.

So it’s important to ask yourself, “What are they likely to find?” Are they going to be reassured about what a fine upstanding citizen you are? Or are they going to be shocked with what Google uncovers? (Or maybe they will find nothing at all, which can also be a problem!)

I realize that you can’t control everything on the Internet but you can control some things. Every social networking site you participate in – Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, YouTube – asks you to create a profile, and it’s these profile pages that are likely to come up first when someone conducts a search.

Properly managing your profile is a great way to control the message you want to put out to the world. Here are a few tips on how to present a positive image:

Be consistent. Use the same name and profile across all your social networks, so people know it’s you and you present a consistent personal brand.

Make sure your profile picture is appropriate. While photos of you drinking and partying might go down well with your old college buddies, that’s probably not the image you want to project to future employers and neighbors. Post a recent head shot – and don’t forget to smile!

Provide some background. Facebook, Twitter and all the other popular social networks give you ample opportunity to tell people more about yourself. Take advantage of that opportunity. Use the tools available to project an image and information that you are comfortable with.

Cross link to other web sites and blogs. If you want to highlight a blog or another personal web site, then make sure you cross-link to it from your other social networks. Make your best work easy to find.

Be sparing with the inside jokes. If someone needs to know you well to understand a particular comment, then perhaps it’s not for your public profile. It’s good to be cute or funny but make sure it’s a joke that everyone can share in.

Make the Internet your friend. Build a profile and control the message!

Stacey Ross on The Online Mom, home

What Happens to Your Social Media Accounts After You Die?

13/08/2014 admin 1 Comment

By Stacey Ross

A close friend of the family unexpectedly passed away not too long ago, and it was touching and supportive for his family and friends that we were able to honor his life online. The reality is that since more and more of our lives are going digital these days, it warrants a discussion that many of us have never given much thought to – namely “What happens to our social media accounts when we pass on?”

Here’s a brief look at how three popular social media platforms handle accounts of the deceased:

Twitter

Twitter officials will start deleting accounts after six months of inactivity, while most other social networks won’t touch your profile unless specifically asked to by a family member or an agent of law enforcement.

Twitter will work with a person authorized to act on behalf of an estate or with a verified immediate family member of the deceased (with both requiring a government-issued ID). To deactivate an account, Twitter needs the username of the deceased, a death certificate, a written explanation, a current address and the relationship to the deceased.

LinkedIn

LinkedIn will work to delete an account so that the username and password no longer work and the deceased individual’s profile is removed from the site. If you are taking action in this area, you will need to know the deceased member’s name, the company he or she worked at most recently, and provide a link to his or her profile.

It’s also helpful if you can provide LinkedIn with the member’s email address. You will be required to state your relationship to the deceased, as those without a close relationship might not be able to have the account removed.

There is a way to export the deceased user’s connections in case you have a need to contact them in the future, which can be useful for small businesses if an owner or key partner passes away.

Facebook

If you are an immediate family member, you can go through the various steps to deactivate an account or you can turn a lost loved one’s profile into a memorial page. The memorialized timeline is accessible and searchable only by friends, who will have the opportunity to post and look at pictures. Nobody would be able to tag the deceased in photos or posts, send messages, or ‘friend’ the deceased. Similarly, the account will no longer generate birthday reminders, or show up in “People You May Know” prompts.

Millions of users have died since Facebook has been around. Since Facebook won’t delete profiles on its own, it poses a viable curiosity to some that one day the dead might outnumber the living!

What about privacy?

There is an ongoing debate over the ownership of “digital assets” and the laws are still catching up with the times. Certain areas are still unclear, and different laws in different states only add to the confusion.

What do you think? When a person dies, should their loved ones should be granted access to their information, photos, videos, etc.? Some say yes, yet others have concerns about confidentiality. There are crucial legal but also practical implications which come into play when loved ones are allowed to access previously password-protected accounts.

Making provisions as to who could legally assume responsibility for your accounts could help streamline the process, as well as leaving an instruction letter with your wishes, account names, and updated passwords.

A new plan endorsed by the Uniform Law Commission proposes legislation that would automatically allow loved ones to access social media accounts (though not post from them), with an exception for wills that specifically request restricted access.

Of course, privacy activists argue that confidential information kept online should remain secure. It would be wise for online enthusiasts to create a social media will, particularly if they want their digital assets to be accessed by others.

Be proactive!

There are certainly tools available – actual websites where you can save all your passwords in a digital vault, along with instructions for your loved ones for when you die. You can even leave legacy videos or create “dead social accounts,” which enable you to communicate with people at predetermined times after your death. (Although the idea of curating information to be sent virtually once you are gone can seem a bit creepy, and could expose loved ones to digital identity crimes.)

Once these services receive proof of death, they will email passwords to people nominated by the deceased, along with any other instructions. This is a lot to “byte” off, but is well worth considering!

Meanwhile, while you are growing your digital footprint on a daily basis, give some thought to what happens after you’re gone, and to what degree you wish to maintain an online identity while you are dancing in the clouds of Heaven!

Stacey Ross is an online consultant, social media enthusiast, freelancer and owner of SanDiegoBargainMama.com. A former teacher and middle school counselor, she is now a mom of two who researches and freelances about lifestyle topics involving family and well-being.

Social Networking, home

Facebook Not Feeling the Love (Again)

12/08/2014 admin 1 Comment

When Facebook announced in April of this year that the messaging feature would be removed from the Facebook mobile app and users would be required to download the separate Messenger app, there was the usual outcry from the Facebook faithful. After all, Facebook users are notorious for not liking change, whether it’s a seismic shift like increasing the size of photos or something smaller like tweaking Facebook’s privacy policies.

However, this time the backlash feels a little different. We are almost four months into the migration period and, if anything, the anti-Messenger sentiment is growing. Over 21,000 people have submitted a review of the app on iTunes and over 95 percent of those reviews are resoundingly negative, leaving Messenger with an embarrassing 1-star rating. (1 star is the lowest rating on iTunes; fortunately for Facebook, you can’t give an app zero stars!)

What are the biggest failings of Messenger? Well, there are numerous complaints about the app constantly crashing and messages not going through, but the biggest objection appears to be the lack of convenience: ‘Why do we now have to use two apps when before we just used one?’ It’s a very good question and the answer probably has more to do with Facebook’s long term strategy for growth that it has to do with the convenience of its current customers.

When Facebook paid $19 billion for WhatsApp back in February, many analysts and tech commentators were left scratching their heads. How could a simple messaging app, albeit one with over 400 million users, be worth so much money? While some of the reasons for the acquisition were defensive – anything to stop it falling into the hands of Google – it was also an admission that, in the mobile era, Facebook has some serious limitations.

While Facebook continues to pick up additional users in various parts of the world, it has reached saturation point in many of its largest markets, including the U.S. In fact, younger American users have been abandoning Facebook in droves, preferring less cluttered, more direct social media apps like Instagram, Snapchat, and even Twitter.

It’s this movement back to straightforward messaging that has Facebook worried. Not only can you get back to a more meaningful one-on-one dialogue (or one-on-many using group chat), but the latest texting and chat apps allow you to add photos and videos, and even engage in one-touch video chat.

With these other options available, who is going to bother to open Facebook to send a simple message? Ironically, the in-app message integration that is so convenient to traditional Facebook users is now a major inconvenience to non-Facebook users, and it’s those non-Facebook users that are so important to the future growth of the company.

As they have demonstrated many times in the past, Mark Zuckerberg and friends are quite willing to take a little criticism now if it means they stay relevant down the road. Meanwhile, Facebook mobile users can either download the Messenger app or switch to one of the many alternatives. Either way, we end up doing what Facebook wants us to do and that’s open another app!

Social Networking, home

Why You Get Unfriended On Facebook

11/08/2014 admin 42 Comments

By Tracey Dowdy

Christopher Sibona, a computer science PhD student at the University of Colorado, has bravely stepped in to address a grave social issue: why people get unfriended on Facebook.

Sibona has conducted several surveys focusing on why users choose to disconnect from “Friends” on Facebook. Recognizing that he’s gathering data from a narrow population, Sibona’s work has nevertheless produced interesting results.

I’ve conducted my own far less scientific and credentialed survey and, coupled with Sibona’s results, here are some of the reasons why individuals get unfriended:

1. You aren’t friends offline. Maybe you met once or twice; maybe you have mutual friends; maybe you were looking for a business connection and thought this would be a good lead. In any case, you aren’t friends in the real world so there’s no need to pretend in the virtual world.

2. You’re a creeper. You use Facebook to stalk family members and don’t know how to balance real life and life online. We’ve all done our share of stalking (who hasn’t checked to see who got fat or went bald since high school?) but these friends have raised it to a level that would dazzle Edward Snowden.

3. You’re never online. Maybe you joined Facebook because everyone else was doing it – we’ve all caved to a little peer pressure now and then – but somewhere along the line you lost interest. No problem. Happens to the best of us.

4. You’re a Debbie Downer. Your life isn’t filled with ups and downs, just downs and down even further, and whether because of geography or relationship you are not close enough for friends to be able to help beyond platitudes that may seem patronizing.

5. In the words of my friend Deb, “TOO MANY CATS.”

6. You post in a language other than English.

7. Your comments or posts are too often disparaging to individuals, organizations or groups you know your friend(s) support. Which leads us to number 8.

8. You consistently post status updates to provoke debate and argument. Religion, politics, human rights…you take a polarizing position and invite controversy. It’s your page and you are free to post on whatever topic you choose, but understand that many are not interested in online debate and will simply choose to walk away.

9. You take pieces of information that may be unrelated and piece them together to gossip. Even if what you’re repeating is true, it’s still gossip. And yes, even though we both know that if individuals don’t want their personal business discussed it shouldn’t be posted in the first place, until Facebook somehow develops a Breathalyzer or maturity meter, it’s up to us to be the better person.

10. The English language.
a. Your spelling and grammar are atrocious.
b. You post as if you’re texting or this is a newspaper ad and you pay per letter.
c. You are a grammar Nazi. Even if you’re right, no one likes the Nazis except other Nazis. Is that the company you want to keep?

As an interesting side note, Sibona has found that the individual who received the friend request is more likely to be the one to do the un-friending.

Tech Trends/Lifestyle, home

Where Your Teens Are Hanging Out Online

21/07/2014 admin 56 Comments

By Tracey Dowdy:

As a mom, I try – try being the key word in this sentence – to keep up with trends in social media. It helps that it’s part of my job. But honestly, there are days when it feels like I’m jogging with a greyhound – there’s just no way to keep up.

Inevitably, when parents do catch up and get onboard with the latest and greatest, we immediately “mom it up” and our kids start to leave in droves.

So, in the hopes of helping you keep up without embarrassing your children, here are some of the most popular sites, what they’re about, and why they’re popular:

Twitter

Twitter isn’t new – it’s been around since 2006 – but it’s steadily gained popularity, particularly among teens. Limited to 140 characters, Twitter is a microblogging site that provides a platform to share snippets of your day and keep up with breaking news, major sporting events, and celebrity gossip.

When you join Twitter, you choose to follow other users and their tweets then show up in your Twitter feed. Your own tweets can be seen by people that choose to follow you. Tweets can be deleted but users should keep in mind that, like everything else online, our words can still come back to haunt us. Teens like Twitter it because it takes what they like best about Facebook – sharing every waking moment and detail – and shrinks it down to a manageable sentence or two.

Instagram

Instagram lets users post photos or 15 second videos either to a group of followers or publicly. Like Twitter, users can follow friends, strangers or celebrities and leave ‘likes’ or comments. Photos can be edited and filters utilized to create different effects.

Instagram recently added a private message feature, so users can post a photo to up to 15 friends and the photo won’t show up in a user’s regular feed. Likes are a big deal in the world of Instagram, so though the Terms and Conditions specify that sexually suggestive photos may not be posted, users may push the envelope of what is considered acceptable to draw more likes. Teens like it as it takes what they like about Facebook – endless selfies – and lets them filter and edit those duck-faces into artsy photos.

Snapchat

Snapchat has received a lot of negative attention as a way for teens to sext. In theory, the photos disappear after just 1-10 seconds (users determine how long recipients can view the photo) but the problem is that 1-10 seconds is plenty of time for recipients to take a screenshot. As with any form of social media, there are those who will abuse it but, for the most part, teens like Snapchat because it’s another way to connect, be silly and have fun.

Tumblr

Think of Tumblr as an online scrapbook. Users create “Tumblogs” (Tumblr blogs) of images, text and videos, and share their blogs with a list of friends or leave them public. Users can create private profiles but only after creating an initial profile that stays public. Tumblr is a lot of fun – it’s basically a cross between Twitter and Instagram – but content is far less regulated. Sexually explicit language and images are easy to find, as are posts related to self-harm, drugs or other topics parents may find objectionable. For the most part, that’s not why teens are using it. Teens like it for the obvious reason: it’s fun.

Vine

Vine allows users to create and post looping six-second video clips grouped by categories like Art, Music and Dance, Comedy or Style. Videos are intended to be fun, but again, it’s not hard to find objectionable content. Teens like Vine because it’s entertaining and users get to be creative.

Ultimately, like every other area of parenting in our digital age, it’s up to you to decide how much you need to screen and monitor your teen’s activity and what sites are appropriate.

Stacey Ross on The Online Mom, home

Why We Post Photos of Our Food

26/06/2014 admin 32 Comments

By Stacey Ross

I am not a foodie, or a chef. Heck, I do not think I enjoy food any more than your average person. (Well, unless it involves a good beer and sushi…or chocolate!) So why, on any given month, might a good majority of the photos in my social media streams center around food? Why are so many people compelled to tweet what they eat?

My personal view is that food is not that sexy, although I have been known to refer to some Japanese appetizers as “foreplay”! Typically, if I am playing a role in the branding process, I snap away to display a new camera feature, a hotel restaurant, or a favorite item from the menu. And even if there is no compensation involved, there is nothing like giving homage to a person or an institution – like a beer with the ballpark in the background – that you think is doing a great job. It’s just part of the social media culture!

I have found that a photo of a particularly appealing meal can be a valuable contribution to the inter-webs, particularly when accompanied with some descriptive words, recommendations, or geeky captions. I also take the opportunity to share bloopers. For example, my Facebook post sharing my burnt cookies was pretty well-received, likely because of the caption, “Warning: Mom Blogger Hazard!” The sentiment conveyed along with image becomes a unique form of storytelling, although a photo of a standard sandwich and French fries might not be all that compelling!

So why do others post their meals? I asked my colleagues and received a palate-full of replies.

Second nature for foodies

Freelancers, bloggers and foodies all click away ritualistically like they are foodarazzi. Gina M. Ruiz, a food blogger and a freelancer, hangs out a lot with a Michelin-starred chef, so taking photos of food for her blog Dona Lupe’s Kitchen is imperative. The same applies for her inspiration, Chef Gianfranco Minuez, who is documenting his dishes for a future book. For Gina, sometimes she is “just impressed with the beauty and color or the plating style,” and at other times she is developing a recipe.

My Facebook friend Kimberly Edwards shared that two of her friends must photograph before they eat and that some of her friends regularly post on the review site Yelp. They make a habit of reviewing restaurants before they even open and are often the first to document their experiences – all with their handy cameras!

Images of inspiration

Lifestyle blogger Abby N Lili contributed, “I do not consider myself crafty or artistic, but I can cook. Taking pictures of food and sharing it on BabyBirdsFarm is my creative outlet. I like to believe it is useful to others too. Hopefully, they want to try the recipe, learn something new, or are just inspired to cook fresh, healthy good food.”

Another Facebook friend Lucretia Madden Pruitt added, “I like looking at other people’s food pix because it: a) stimulates my own appetite, b) gives me ideas for dishes to make or try, c) is artistic and aesthetically pleasing, and d) lets me share that moment with them.”

A conversation starter

When shared creatively to celebrate not only the food itself but the experience surrounding it, the “foodographer” can tell a story. I would be doing a disservice to you by editing the response of Faryl Zaklin a social media wizard, friend, and blogger at fearlessblogger.com, so here is all she had to say on the matter:

“I’m not a fan of foodie pics on social media but I can tolerate it if: it’s for accountability; the meal presentation is just beyond words; you’re in a different country and the cuisine is unique; you hunted, slaughtered and cooked part of the meal; it’s moving or has eyes; any part of it is flaming (intentionally or unintentionally); your kid made it; you did an especially good job at making it and you’re proud; you’re sharing a recipe for the photo subject; or you did such a bad job preparing it, words fail you.”

Melinda Kruse DiPerna also hits the nail on the head: “It’s a way of sharing beauty, flavor, color, fun. No different than [photographing] a great flower. Occasionally funny or a warning.”

Food as the great connector

Whether we post photos of our hamburgers for branding purposes or for sensual pleasure, we can’t deny that food serves as a great unifier and conversation starter. When we have family and friends over or even meet someone for the first time, we tend to organize the gathering around a culinary experience. Virtual or not, what is on the dinner table brings people together.

A news anchor at NBC 7 San Diego, Jodi Kodesh, shared, “I do it nearly every time I cook, because I NEVER cook! I’m horrible. When I do make a pretty plate, I want a little bit of praise for the hard work I put into whatever meal I’m showing.”

A firefighter for the U.S. Marines, Ace Torres, knows that ladies love food (and we know firefighters are notorious for having their way in the kitchen!), so he figures that sharing food that he has either bought or cooked himself on his stream might “entice a date by showing girls what they could be eating if they go out with me.” And he makes sure to point out “I don’t use Instagram filters on my food pics.” Ace wants to be sure to portray accurately what a lady can expect. Smart move!

Food remains one of the most talked-about topics on social media and, with the advancement of technology, practically anyone who can aim and shoot can take a delightful photo. As Cari Bee, lifestyle/entertainment blogger behind BusyBeeBlogger.com, reminds us: “Food is inherently communal. Even if eating alone, we feel compelled to share our experience.”

I’ll chew to that!

Featured, Stacey Ross on The Online Mom

The Hazards of Yearning To Be Liked Online

11/06/2014 admin 1 Comment

By Stacey Ross

I recently came upon an intriguing psychologist on Twitter called Collette Smart and followed her digital trail to a website called The Exchange TV that features a discussion on the “Like Me Generation.” She and her colleagues engage in an interesting exchange about social media, and the segment on how people interact and make “friends” is definitely worth watching.

Smart suggests that the apparent increased need for warm online “fuzzies” is not really indicative of a cultural shift or a trend to becoming more self-centric; rather that the online platforms amplify and enable people to showcase and share what they are really like.

The segment also brings up some issues that might be worth examining further:

Instant affirmation

Research for the segment indicates that from January to October 2013 use of the original “#selfie” hashtag grew by more than 200% and that the top 10 selfie-related hashtags on Instagram included over 41 million photos. That’s a lot of validation-seeking!

In seeking more “likes” and “friends”, people are aiming to demonstrate popularity. While for individuals this can be a very self-indulgent investment of their time, the storytelling component is helpful for businesses and brands, keeping the conversations alive and their fans engaged.

Making Comparisons

The downside to this is that users might focus too much on comparing their “back reel” lives with other peoples’ seemingly more glamorous existences. It is a smart exercise to take a step back and evaluate if the drive to increase your friend count is for the right reasons and question how many “friends” you really need. It is also smart to be discerning about whom you befriend online, as many times the process of un-friending can be daunting.

Ignore the Trolls

Circumvent those users who are aggravators and tend to engage in negative discussions. Most of the time they just hide behind their computers and get a thrill from inciting others.

Alienation

Some of the most well-balanced social media enthusiasts are those who have a thriving offline world and use social media to enhance it, rather than using it to build a social world and friendships. The unauthentic implications of the latter can leave one feeling depressed and increase a sense of loneliness.

Avoid Over-sharing

Young people in particular are smart to rethink the amount of information they divulge online. There are a growing number of incidents of identity theft and, when it stems from someone putting too much information out there, the mess can get ugly.

Another form of over-sharing is what Smart calls “inverted affirmations,” which involve users sharing inappropriate personal information with all of their friends or fans. They do so to seek attention and likes, which will not necessarily fill the void they are aiming to fill.

Storytelling platform

So long as people keep things in perspective, they can embrace the tools that enable their connections, and make sure that their positive and sometimes thrilling engagements remain a productive and meaningful part of both their social and professional worlds.