Tips for new Facebook parents

A couple of weeks ago, we wrote about how saying yes to your child when they ask for a Facebook account might be a good idea. If you set-up the account together, you will be able to teach them the right approach…and have a better chance of being their online friend as they get older.

But what if you are unfamiliar with Facebook or are not sure what's the right approach for a tween or young teen? Here are some tips to help get you started:

Use your own e-mail address to open the account
If you are setting up an account for a tween or young teen, use your own e-mail address or an e-mail address that you both have access to. This way, you will see friend requests as they come in and be able to screen any messages they might get from unknown parties. You will also know if your child tries to change the password!

Don't allow Facebook to choose friends for you
When you first open an account, Facebook will suggest lots of friends for you based on previous Facebook accounts run off the same computer (very sneaky!) or based on the Profile information you provide. It will also ask for permission to search your e-mail account, so it can suggest even more friends.

Ignore them all! You should carefully add friends based on your family's own preferences, not Facebook's.

Choose the Profile Photo carefully
The photo on your child's Facebook profile is very important. It can say volumes about how they see themselves, as well as what you, as a parent, think about them. Cutesy is OK, provocative is a no-no. If you're not comfortable having a photo of your child up there at all, then think about using a picture of their favorite pet, or maybe an avatar. (That's a cartoon-style image, not the tall blue lady from the movie!)

Be selective about the Profile Information
Although the account will be live straight away, you still need to complete the Profile Information. Click on Profile on the menu bar and click Info. Here, you can edit your Basic Information, Personal Information, Contact Information and Education and Work.

When filling out your Profile Information, you should assume that everything you complete will be visible to others. Although Facebook allows you to hide Contact Information, you should leave that blank anyway.

Privacy Settings
Once you have completed the Profile Information, go back to the menu bar and click on Account. From the dropdown menu, click on Privacy Settings. Most Privacy Settings are set by default to Everyone. Here, it's recommended that you change all the settings to Only Friends.

On the Search page, uncheck the Allow box. This will make sure your child's Facebook information is not searchable by Google or other search engines.

Remember, Facebook has a strong tendency towards openness, which may be fine later in life. When your child starts on in the social networking world, the emphasis should be on privacy.

Think before you add Friends
Be careful about who you and your child add as friends. That 19-year-old cousin might be a great guy at Thanksgiving dinners and family reunions but if he's just started college and likes to party, there may be things on his Facebook page that you would rather your child didn't see. Remember, Facebook works both ways: your child will be able to see everything that is posted to her friends' pages and even to some friends of friends' pages.

Teach what's appropriate
Once your child's account is up-and-running, spend some time together discussing what's appropriate to write or post and what's best left off the site. Teach them to ask permission before posting photos of other people. (Particularly photos of Mommy in a bikini!) Talk about updates and photos that are posted by their friends and what you like or don't like about them.

As we suggested before, set-up the right way, Facebook can provide an invaluable opportunity for parents to teach cyber awareness and appropriate online behavior. Grab the opportunity before it's too late!

Do you have other tips for kids – and their parents – starting out on Facebook? Share them with The Online Mom!