Funny Twitter Accounts All Parents Should Follow

By Tracey Dowdy

It didn’t take long after my first daughter was born to learn the secret to surviving parenthood is a sense of humor. God makes babies adorable so we can forgive them for POW levels of sleep deprivation; toddlers are really just tiny frat boys stumbling around, shouting incoherently, peeing wherever they choose; and teenagers flip flop between making us oh so proud and making us wonder why we didn’t just get a dog when we longed for the pitter patter of tiny feet.

No matter how old your children are, whether you parent one or are mom to your own Little League team, these Twitter accounts can help you see the funny side of parenting – even on days when you feel like your kids should have come with some kind of FDA warning.

@XplodingUnicorn

“My 3-year-old hugged me out of the blue and said, “I love you, Dad.” If you need me, I’ll be searching the house for whatever she broke.”

James Breakwell is dad to four daughters and his tweets about their conversations and day-to-day life as a husband and dad will leave you in stitches.


@byclintedwards

“I’ve never been held hostage, but I have listened to my daughter recount an episode of “My Little Pony: Equestria Girls.”

Clint Edwards is the author of “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (Parenting. Marriage. Madness.).” His “No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog” is filled with gems like “Lies I’ve Told My Children to Get Them to Try New Foods” and “Crimes Committed by My Toddler,” so both his Twitter and blog are worth following.


@PerfectPending

“I almost made eye contact with my kids when they were playing happily together like some sort of parenting amateur or something.”

With a tagline of “Let’s stop trying to be perfect, and just be the moms we were meant to be”, you can’t help but feel mother of three Meredith is a kindred spirit. She also has a great blog with recipes that kids will actually eat and posts like “There is No Such Thing as Mothering Without Regrets.” It too is worth checking out.


@FoxyWinePocket

“Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast?
Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some?
Son: NO. I hate casserole.
Me (whispers): I know…”

Kathryn Leehane’s irreverent, sometimes inappropriate but totally relatable tweets will drive you to her blog where she shares her “twisted suburban mom stories” and love of “oversharing and Jason Bateman.”


@JennaWrites

I just showered AND shaved AND dried my hair AND put on makeup. I do not believe you that people actually do this every day.”

TED Talk speaker and author of “Everything’s Relative”, and “If It Was Easy, They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon”, Jenna (not Jenny) McCarthy is cheeky, witty, and honest. She’s also written several children’s books, so you and your kids will soon have the same favorite author.


@HonestToddler

“The park before naptime looks like a Trump rally.”

Honest Toddler started on Twitter, became a blog, is now a book and has remained100% laugh out loud funny each step of the way. Bunmi Latidan is the mama behind the tweets presented from the perspective of an entitled, sassy, clever toddler who likes “attention, cake, television, running & games.”

Tracey Dowdy is a freelance writer based just outside Washington DC. After years working for non-profits and charities, she now freelances, edits and researches on subjects ranging from family and education to history and trends in technology. Follow Tracey on Twitter.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.